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Question: Please answer sheikh. I am a married man with children. I have feelings for another women. Why do I have these feelings? Should I persue this other women as polygamy is allowed in islam. Are my feelings for this other person from Allah as a sign that I should marry her. She seems to be a better match for me than my present wife. What does the qur'an mean when it states that men may wish to replace one wife with the other..please advise.
Answer:

You are not allowed to get carried by the inclination you feel towards another woman. If we were allowed to act in this way, then there won't be any family life. So we need to bridle our passions and focus on works that are productive.

Although polygamy was allowed in Islam, it is not a general permission applicable for all times and places. The Qur'an has already set monogamy as the norm, and hence polygamy is an exception. Allah says,  "If  you fear that you cannot do justice, then you may marry only one."  Now it behooves us to consider the specific conditions of the modern age. Stresses of life now are so overwhelming that an ordinary individual can hardly rice to meet the challenges of doing justice towards more than one wife. We can never exaggerate the fact that family life involves heavy responsibilities. It demands undivided attention to care for one's family and the children. Hence, given the conditions of the modern life, undoubtedly monogamy is the ideal to follow.

So, I urge you to curb this desire and be loyal to your wife.

We cannot take the Qur'anic verses out of context. The verse you have cited is applicable only when a person fails to resolve marital conflicts and therefore has no other option but to divorce his wife and marry another.  That is not the case with you. If we were allowed divorce our wives every time we feel that there is a more beautiful one, then we would end up destroying the family life, and thus human civilization as we know would cease to exist.

Therefore, I urge you to curb your passions, take steps to put your marriage on the right track by being loyal to your wife and children, and focus on productive work

 

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