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Question: As salam alaikum .i live with my inlaws and Due to some problems at home my husband stopped talking with his mother and i have also limited myself as well to avoid unnecessary arguments with her so that to prevent myself from doing sin by making an argument with her . But we respect her and i pray for her well being always . So i want to know weather we are doing right or will my husband be punished for not talking with his mother who does not make an attempt to sort out things and gets angry alwsys on little things
Answer:

I would urge your husband to ask forgiveness of his mom and resume talking to her immediately.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “It is not permissible for a person who believes in Allah and the Last Day to stop talking to his brother for more than three days: they avoid each other when they meet. The best of the two is the one who starts talking first.” (Reported by Ibn Hibban and others)

If this is is what is expected of us in dealing with fellow Muslims, then imagine the gravity of the situation in regards to our parents, even more so one’s mother. The right of a mother takes precedence over even that of a father or other relations; it comes second only to our duties towards Allah.

Therefore, the Prophet (peace be upon him) considered displeasing one’s parents as the greatest of all sins, second only to shirk. “Shall I tell you of three gravest sins: it is to associate partners with Allah; displeasing one’s parents and bearing false witness – he repeated the last one three times.” (Reported by Bukhari)

So, he should seize the opportunity of the blessed months when there remain a few days to seek repentance and come clean. Otherwise, I am afraid he will end up as one of the losers as the Prophet (peace be upon him) warned: “He or she is indeed is the loser who comes out of the month of Ramadan without attaining forgiveness of Allah.” (Reported by Tirmidhi)

The fact that his mother is acting rudely towards him does not justify his boycott of his mother. He should forgive her and tolerate her irritable behavior (perhaps it could be due to old age), and continue speaking with her most kindly. He should never react to her mistakes in this way. He should rise above her standards; after all, she is the mother; and she gave birth to him and endured so much nurturing and caring for him.

You should also take immediate steps to mend your relations with her. And never condone your husband’s behavior towards his mother. You may do well to take the initiative in achieving reconciliation between them to the best of your ability. If you do, you will earn double rewards. I pray to Allah to help us all seize the blessings of the month to repent and come out as winners with clean slates.

 

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