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Question: ASSALAM O ALAIKUM.. i am 24 years old. my parents want me to get married. but i dont feel myself ready for getting married right now. i rejected a proposal. and ever since theres been a tension filled in the house. my mother barely talks to me. i want to ask is it right for me to get forcefully married. if i keep silent (out of anger or pressure)on nikkah and the silence is taken as consent will the marriage be valid??
Answer:

 

Marriage in Islam is a union of two souls based on mutual love, affection, and mercy: Allah says in the Qur’an: “Among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves for you to repose in tranquility and that He has implanted in your hearts mutual love and affection. Verily, in these are signs for people who reflect.” (Qur'an: 30: 21)
 
How can we expect spouses to attain peace and tranquility if they are forced to marry against their will?
 
That is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) stated: “A once- married woman cannot be married without her permission; and a woman who was never married before cannot be married without her consent.”  (Reported by Nasa'i, Tirmidhi, and others)
 
What if she is married without her consent? How do we resolve the issue? 
 
Here again, the Prophet (peace be upon him) has left us a clear precedent to the effect that the woman is not forced to accept such a marriage; rather she has the right to dissolve the marriage.
 
Here is the report to that effect:  Once a woman approached the Prophet complaining about her father: “My father has married me off to his nephew to enhance his status (in the community)!” The Prophet (peace be upon him) – having ascertained the veracity of her statement – gave her the freedom to dissolve the marriage. However, at that point, she said, “ I accept my father’s choice for me; however, I wanted to let the women know that they the parents do not have the final say in their marriages.” (Reported by Tabarani, Nasa'i, and others).
 
As Imam Ibn Taymiyyah has said, “To force a woman to marry someone she hates is wholly repugnant to well-established principles and reason. We know that Allah does not allow her guardian to force her to transact business or rent without her permission; nor does Allah permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear what she dislikes! Then how can a guardian force her to choose as a lifetime partner someone she dislikes?
 
Therefore, your parents have no right to force you to marry the person you don’t like. By doing this, you are not in any way disobeying your parents. They are the ones who are violating the laws of Allah by their actions.
 
Having said this, I would urge you to make peace with your parents; perhaps you should get some wise or knowledgeable people in the community to persuade them to change their attitude. 
 
You also need to pray to Allah to open the hearts of your parents to see the error of their ways.
 
Lastly, never act rudely towards your parents because of this issue; instead, try your best to please in every other way you can.

 

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