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Question: I said to my wife Its Haram for me to eat the food you cook. Do I have to make kaffara t yameen or just istighfar.I ate food after that. Thanks

In this case, you should offer Kaffarah (expiation) for breaching the oath you swore. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Allah will not take you to task for oaths which you may have uttered without thought, but He will take you to task for oaths which you have sworn in earnest. Thus, the breaking of an oath must be atoned for by feeding ten needy persons with more or less the same food as you are wont to give to your own families, or by clothing them, or by freeing a human being from bondage; and he who has not the wherewithal shall fast for three days [instead]. This shall be the atonement for your oaths whenever you have sworn [and broken them]. But be mindful of your oaths!' Thus Allah makes clear unto you His messages, so that you might have cause to be grateful.” (Qur’an: 5:89).

Imam Muslim reports on the authority of Abu Hurayrah: “Once a person spent the night in the company of the Prophet (peace be upon him). On arriving home, he found his children had gone to bed; so, he swore not to eat his dinner because of his children; however, later on, it occurred to him to eat. He came to the Prophet and told him what happened; then the Prophet said to him: “If one makes an oath and then found it better not to act accordingly, then he should go ahead and do that which is better, and offer expiation for the oath he had made.” (Reported by Muslim)

Therefore, in light of the above, you did the right thing to eat the food your wife had made and offered the Kaffarah for breaking the oath.

Having said this, I would also urge you not to get your disagreements lead you to act impulsively. You should learn how to control your anger and find ways of settling differences.
You may benefit from reading the short article I have linked below.

Furthermore,  I would also urge both of you to study the following book: Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide by Ekram Beshir and Mohamed Beshir.

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