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Question: AoA my child is 4.5 years old.. and he is becoming very naughty day by day.. he is uncontrollable everytime hitting others misbehaving woth elders... actually he is first child of the second generation in our family.. so everyone has pampered him alot.. everydau someone or the other is bringing gifts for him.. he is going the wrong way.. can u please guide me as to how to control him anf bring him to right and islamic path i will be very thankful
Answer:

I pray to Allah to give you comfort in your spouse and children.

Before coming directly to your question, let me urge you to establish prayer and supplicate as follows on a regular basis:

Rabbanaa hab lanaa min azwaajinaa wa dhurriyyaatinaa qurratah a’yunin wa ij’alnaa li al-muttaqeena imaman

(Our Lord, grant us comfort in our spouses and children and make us role models for those who are conscious (of You).”

A home in Islam is a place of tranquility and peace, or it can turn into a hell.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us that our homes are dwelling places of angels or devils. If we fail to establish remembrance of Allah consistently, our houses will be taken over by demons. Imam Ghazali narrates an interesting dialogue between two devils: one of them fast and chubby; another frail and emaciated. When asked why he was so, the fat one replied, I share my bed and foods with those who never bother to remember Allah. And the sick one I do have any food or rest am left with no bed to sleep nor do I get anything to eat or drink as the inhabitants of the house I live remember Allah always.

Now the question arises how can correct the situation and ensure that we drive out the devils and let the angels into the house:

Here are some tips:

1.  Establish regular prayer and invoke the name of Allah while consuming foods and drinks and thank Allah for your blessings.

2. Read Fatihah,  Ayat al-kursi and the last three surahs of the Qur’an and blow into your hands and wipe over the body of your child starting from head to toe at least before he goes to sleep as well as when he wakes up (and more – if you can).

3.  Read the du’a of protection from devils:

Here are the du’as to read:

Rabbi a’oodhu bika min hamazaati al-shayaateen.

(My Lord, I seek Your refuge and protection against the whisperings of devils).

 And as parents both of you should also above for yourselves and follow it up with the following du’a

 Allaahmma anta rabbee laa ilaaha illaa anta khalaqtanee wa ana abduka wa ana alaa ahdika wa wa’dika ma istata’tu a’oodhu bika min sharri maa sana’tu abu’o laka bi ni’matika alayya wa ab’ou bi dhanbee fa ighfir lee fa innahu laa yaghfru al-dhunooba illaa anta.

 (O Allah, You are my Lord; there is no god but You. You have created me, and I am Your servant; I stand firm on my covenant with You according to the best of my ability; I seek refuge in You from the evils of my actions. I acknowledge Your favors upon me; I confess my sins to You; so forgive me, for no one has the power to forgive sins except You.)

 Finally, make sure you play Surat al-Baqarah continuously in his bedroom, and I am certain it will help calm him down. For this, you should choose a beautiful recitation from one of the renowned reciters such as Minshawi or Husari or Hudhayfi, etc.

I did have experience with a child – my wife used to babysit - who was acting so agitated and irritable and was uncontrollable. I told her to play the Qur’an. And lo within days the child became calm, and he became normal! And he was always tranquil whenever we played the Qur'an.

Finally, showering the child with material gifts would only make things worse. The best gift we can give our children is to teach them Islamic manners and train them morally and spiritually.

For this, I would urge you to get a copy of the following book and practice its lessons: Parenting Skills: Based on the Quran and Sunnah, with Practical Examples for Various Ages by Ekram Beshir.

I pray to Allah to make your child a source of jjoy and comfort for you and your family.

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