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Question: I am trying to learn and practice proper Islamic teachings. However, my mother has been a big hindrance in my observance of Islamic practices, such as covering appropriately and avoiding, or being careful in, mixed gender gatherings. It's becoming extremely difficult for me to go my own way. I have been teaching her the right way and telling her the devastating consequences of not following the path of Allah, but nothing works. She scolds and forces me to go her way. I'm very much afraid of Allah (SWT) for what Ive done on my mother's insistence. Please advise me on the right way of dealing with this issue. I have been polite with her, but, become bitter when she forces me. May Allah (SWT) forgive me. I will appreciate your help.
Answer:

You are to be commended for your zeal to hold on firmly to your Deen.  I pray that Allah grant you strength, patience and steadfastness.

Although you are not to listen to your mother when she orders you to go against the dictates of Allah, you must never lose your temper with her. You should try to explain your point of view gently and respectfully while being firm in holding on to the truth.    

“And [Allah says:] ‘We have enjoined upon man goodness toward his parents: his mother bore him by bearing strain upon strain, and his utter dependence on her lasted two years: [hence, O man,] be grateful toward Me and toward thy parents, (and remember that] with Me is all journeys’ end.
“‘[Revere thy parents,] yet, should they strive to make you join in worship with Me of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; but [even then] bear them company in this world’s life with kindness, and follow the path of those who turn toward Me.  In the end, unto Me you all must return; and, thereupon, I shall make you [truly] understand all that you were doing [in life]’ (Qur’an: 31: 15-16).

According to scholars, the above verses clearly indicate that we are not supposed to obey our parents when their orders go against the orders of Allah.  The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Obedience is not due to any creature, if in doing so one is disobeying the Creator!” (Reported by Muslim and others)

Also, never fail to pray for your mother so that she is inspired to see truth as truth and follow it, and see error as error and shun it.

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