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Question: Assalam wa alaikum I understand that you cannot answer every question but please I really need help. My wife does not get along with my parents. We live separate from my parents but we visit frequently. Is it permissible for her to ask me that she should not have to visit my parents (and I fulfill my obligations by visiting/taking care-but that she does not go) and is it ok for me to agree to this in Islam. She states in ISLAM the daughter in law has no duties to parents-in-law so if she doesn't want to visit as long as I am visiting that should be ok. Her only obligation comes if I ask her to that is why she wants my permission not to have to visit them. Is it ok in ISLAM for me to give such permission. Culturally my parents expect both of us to visit them and probably will be upset if she doesn't visit. But if in ISLAM she has the right-then I can explain to my parents that she wishes to excercise this right. If so-please provide me some quotations for whatever the correct answer/path is. Thank you for answering our questions.

Marriage is  not merely joining two individuals together, it is also joining of two families and extending the family circles on both sides. Islam stresses the importance of fostering the of kinship as well relations established through marriage. It is, therefore, the duty of both partners to visit the families on both sides, and foster the relations. Even as you are required to visit her parents and close relatives and consider doing it an honor, she should also visit your parents and consider it an honor to do so.

Therefore, it is not appropriate on her part to tell you that she is not bound to visit your parents. Well, she should know that when she married you, you were not born like a mushroom; rather you were born into a family, and you have parents. So as a Muslimah she should consider it an honor to keep good relations with your parents; for they are your parents. By doing so she is in fact showing her love to you. Likewise, you should also visit her parents and express the same kind of love for them as you expect her to express towards your parents.

Mind you, the Messenger of Allah is our role model for us. We read in the traditions from Aishah that he would go out of his way to show his love for the relatives and friends of his first wife Khadijah.


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