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Question: Assalamu Alaikum I was in love with my mothers cousin and wanted to marry him. I was afraid of my parents not giving their consent so took help from close relatives to convince my parents. But my parents did not agree to this proposal mentioning they will not allow any love marriage and want to marry me off to a rich family and not to somebody within the close family.After this I tried to stay away from him but could not do so for long time. Meanwhile afraid of my parents I promised them that I will not go fall in love with this guy again and my parents started looking for another proposals to get me married. However I was in deep tension and this started affecting my health as I liked this man a lot but my parents were never ready for it.After one year me and my lover registered our marriage in the civil court without my parents consent as I was mentally not able to stay away from him. We told our parents and rest of the family about our marriage within 1 hour as we knew this marriage is not valid without Nikah in Islam. Even then my father was not ready to do the Nikah as it was against his honour. My parents tried to convince me again to come back but I made clear that I want to get married to this man. My parents left the country so as to not perform the Nikah. I was stranded and at last my uncle (mothers brother) had to perform the Nikah. For doing that the Imam asked to provide a written letter regarding the reasons for my fathers absence and his telephone approval. When my uncle contacted my father he was angry and declined to give the approval for Nikah. Fearing for my future my uncle lied to the Imam that my father has given the approval.It has been 3 and half years that my Nikah is over. I am always praying to Allah and still trying to convince my parents to accept me and my husband. We still do not have children and my parents say that this is because my marriage is not halal and its haram.Please advise whether my marriage is halal and what can be done to put everything in place according to Islam. Is this the reason that Allah is not granting us a child? Assalamu Alaikum
Answer:

If the only reason for your father's refusal to give you permission to marry the man was a question of status and honour, and to force you to marry someone you did not want to marry, then the marriage done with the consent of your uncle is lawful.  Parents have no right to force children to marry those whom they don't want.  The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If a person of sound faith and character approaches marry him; otherwise you are paving the way to corruption."

In Islam, when the primary guardian fails in his responsibility, the next close male relative can assume the responsibility. So  the marriage you have contracted by the consent of your uncle is valid as long as your choice was in full conformity with the requirements mentioned above in the hadith.

Having said this, I should rush to add: You still need to reconnect with your parents and seek to gain their pleasure, and reconcile with them.

Finally,  coming to the question, whether you are deprived of children because of your parent's disapproval of your marriage, I don't think so. You should not dwell on that; rather turn to Allah to grant you righteous offspring. And never fail to seek the pleasure of your parents by striving hard to reconcile with them.

 

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