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Question: What is the view of Islam if a Muslim chooses to use adult toys to please his wife during sexual intimacy (i.e. to arouse the woman before intercourse)? The reason why I ask this question is that my wife doesnt get aroused on time and by the time she get arouse, I have ejaculated (released). So I feel she did not have maximum pleasure as me. Thus I am concerned. So I will like to know if it is halaal to use Adult toys such as vibrator etc to get her arouse to the peak before penetration. Please respond and advice me with evidence from the holy Qur'an. Thank you and May Allah reward all efforts towards the deen of Allah here and the hereafter.
Answer:

Your concern and desire to give satisfaction to your wife is indeed legitimate, for in Islam, all spouses are required to seek mutual fulfillment and satisfaction from one another.

Having said this, however, I must state that we are to do so only within the permissible limits enjoined by Allah. Allah tells us very clearly in the Qur’an that He has permitted us everything that is pure and lawful, while He has forbidden us everything that is filthy, unhealthy and unlawful.

Using sex toys for gratification, however, is considered as unlawful for it has been deemed by scholars as lying outside the bounds set by Allah. They have inferred this ruling from the relevant verses of the Qur’an that have bearing on this issue.

Allah says while enumerating the characteristics of those who are destined for attaining felicity, “They shall guard their chastity except with their lawful spouses…” (Qur’an: 23: 5). Based on this and similar verses and traditions, scholars have ruled that it is important for the believers to ensue that they find their sexual fulfillment through their lawful spouses; use of toys and other methods fall outside of the limits set by Allah. It is therefore considered a perversion; we should keep away from such perversions as best as we can.

Your condition is not so unusual, for, we are told, it is not uncommon with many young people; and fortunately, it can very well be treated or controlled through proper medication/treatment coupled with mind training. You need to consult a properly qualified medical professional in the field; he will surely help you overcome this problem. You should not feel shy in seeking help in this matter.

You need not limit your options for treatment of this condition to the standard English medicine; for, you may often find that there may very well be simple natural treatments for this condition in Ayurveda or Naturopathy; or even in Homeopathy.

In the meantime, you can be as creative as possible in other lawful ways to satisfy your spouse. You may find some beneficial tips in the Muslim Marriage Guide by Ruqayya Waris Maqsood published by Amana Publications, although consulting a properly qualified medical practitioner is the best way to deal with the problem.

Also, never fail to ask Allah’s help in healing your condition; surely as the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Allah has prescribed a cure for every ailment.”

Finally, you must believe firmly in your mind/heart that Allah has appointed sufficiency for us in what He has made lawful for us so that we are not forced to resort to what is haraam for us. So believe in Allah, get the required treatment and pray to Allah unceasingly to make you sufficient with that which He has made halaal and lawful for us:

Allaahumma aghninaa bi halaalika an haraamika wa bi ta’atika an ma’siyatika wa bi fadhlika amman siwaaka

(O Allah, Make us self-sufficient with that which You have made halaal for us so that we are not compelled to turn to what You have declared as harram).

May Allah, the Ultimate Healer/Curer bestow on us His grace and cure us of all the ailments that afflict us—aameen.

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