I commend you for recognizing the gravity of your sin and seeking earnestly to seek repentance. As long as you take the necessary steps toward repentance and turn to Allah for forgiveness, you can hope for His mercy. Therefore, I urge you not to despair but remain steadfast in your faith by expending your utmost and trusting in Allah.

For further details, you are advised to refer to the following answer.

• I am years old, and I used to do a lot of bad things, but now I have realized that all that I used to do was wrong, and I want to return back to Islam, but will Allah forgive me? As the things which I did were not good, could you please give me some duas also to keep me safe from bad things and be a good Muslim, and one more thing, I also send messages to a girl in New Zealand, is this OK? The messages are not bad, just general talk.