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Question: Salaam alaykum sheikh My husband and I live in a separate house (3-4 minutes away) from his parents. My husband goes to visit his parents almost every single day and spends a good 1-3 hours with them. I also try to visit them often. However now during the month of ramadan I have final exams to study for. Am I sinning if I ask my husband to have iftaar with me sometimes when i have exams in a few days. I feel really bad having iftaar by myself alone at home. At the same time I can't leave the house because I have very little time to study because I am also a full-time employee and I try to manage the household duties. Even sometimes when I go to class for 3 hours and my husband spends that time with his parents he still feels like he does not spend enough time with them when I return from class to go home with him. Sheikh please tell me of how I can be patient. I know the husband is suppose to honour his mother over the wife but what are the rights of the wife in this matter in terms of time. Please note my husband goes almost every single day to visit his parents. His parent's age is in the range of 50-57. They are both healthy alhumdulilah and are working full-time.

If what you have stated is true, your husband is not balancing his duties towards his wife with his duties towards his parents. He is certainly sacrificing your rights over the right of his parents. You have every right to ask him what you have mentioned. We also balance our duties and never do one at the expense of the other; the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Your eyes have rights; your body has rights, and your wife has rights; and give each one his or her due." (Reported by Timidhi on the authority of Abd Allah b. Amar b. al-Aas).

So, even as your husband must respect and honor his parents, he does not have to spend all of his time with them, he needs to respect your rights, as well. By failing in his essential duty towards you,  he is guilty of a major offence.

If he is persiting on this behaviour, I advise you to seek marriage counselling.

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