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Question: Does Islam permit Muslims to practice oral sex of any kinds, watch pornographic movies with one's legally married spouse? Pls. for the sake of Allah, enlighten me on this question. Do not ignore it. Because I just got married and like to know if it is okay to engage in the above practice as a Muslim.
(31/01/2005)
Answer:

Watching pornographic movies, whether done individually or with one’s marriage partner, is definitely detestable to Islamic sense of ethics and morality, and, therefore, considered as haram (forbidden) in Islam. Oral sex between marriage partners, however, cannot be considered as haraam so long as it is done consensually--provided the actual intercourse is performed in the vagina.

Pornography is degrading and dehumanizing to both men and women as well as to human sexuality; it is the root of corruptions. Since we are not allowed to expose ourselves or look at the private parts of others, whether alive or in pictures, how can we be permitted to look at the sexual acts between two people? Such practices are indeed not only forbidden but also reckoned as one of the most heinous sins in Islam. Therefore, we must shun them if we wish to keep the purity of our souls. The Prophet, peace be upon him, is reported to have stated that, “One of the signs of the imminence of the hour will be the universal prevalence of permissiveness and promiscuity, because of which people will engage in sexual intercourse in public to the extend that even the best ones living in those times will only go as far as wishing that they had done so under some cover!”

The reason why such exposure is forbidden in Islam is because of the fact that haya (shyness) is a most fundamental trait of character in Islam, which all Muslims must nurture and safeguard at all costs. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “One of the most abiding legacies of the ancient prophets is, ‘if you have no shame, do whatever you will’”; He also said, “Being shy is a branch of faith”. Therefore, a believer is instinctively shy of exposing himself/herself in front of anyone other than one’s lawful partner. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Guard your private parts and keep them covered except from your own spouse.”

While haya should prevent us from exposing ourselves in front of strangers, there is no such haya in front of one’s marriage partner as there is no need for any inhibitions in seeking legitimate sexual fulfillment through one’s marriage partner.

Islam celebrates sexuality within the bounds of marriage. Thanks to Islam’s positive view of sexuality it considers conjugal union between the spouses as an act of worship; thus the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “You have rewards of charity in your intimate union with your spouse!” When the companions enquired, “how can we be getting rewards for fulfilling our carnal desires?’ he replied, “what if he/she were to fulfil it through illicit union; will they not be punished? They said, ‘of course’; then he said, ‘likewise, when they do it within the bounds of marriage, they will be rewarded.”

Marriage partners are, therefore, encouraged to be creative in their sexual expressions as long as they operate within the permissible bounds. When we truly understand Islamic perspective on this issue, we will come to recognize that we have sufficiency in what Allah has permitted for us so that we stand in no need of resorting to what He has declared as haraam for us, and that Allah has permitted us everything that is good for us, while He has forbidden only that which is filthy, impure and harmful for us.

Thanks to Islam’s positive view of sexuality, marriage partners are encouraged to appear attractive by taking due care of their bodies and doing everything possible to make sexual activity as pleasurable, recreational and mutually satisfying an experience as possible. It is equally important for the couple to know that sexual relationship must never detached from one’s compassionate treatment and true partnership with one’s spouse; thus men are ordered to be extremely sensitive in caring for the sensibilities of their partners. Accordingly, the Prophet, peace be upon him, forbade men from jumping into beds without proper foreplays. Thus the very notion of coercing one’s partner into sexual activity without his/her willing participation is repugnant to Islamic conscience.

Here is a brief list of sexual taboos which all married couple must observe in Islam:

1)As Islam views conjugal union and husband and wife relations as extremely dignified and confidential, one is not allowed to engage in such acts in public or while others are watching; it is also forbidden to divulge one’s sexual exploits with one’s partner to anyone else. The Prophet, peace be upon him, refers to such behaviour as Satanic and hence not befitting of humans;

2)Anal intercourse is totally forbidden; however, partners are allowed to derive sexual pleasure from intimate rubbing of any other part of the body or through oral stimulation so long as such acts are done consensually;

3)Sadistic practices such as deriving carnal pleasure by inflicting pain or chaining one’s partner, etc. are all forbidden as they are consideredd as degrading and inhumane;

4)Sexual intercourse in the vagina is forbidden during a woman’s menstrual period as well as during post-natal period; one must wait until the bleeding stops and she has performed ghusl (ritual bath);

5)Sexual intercourse or intimate touching or caressing, etc. are forbidden while fasting, or in state of ihram;

6)So called group sex (regardless of whether it is done between consenting married partners or others) is an abomination and grave sin; it is sinful even to entertain such thoughts;

7)There is no taboo on partners masturbating each other or having sexual intimacy or fulfillment during menses as well as during post-natal period of bleeding-- provided sexual intercourse in the vagina is avoided.

8)It is haraam to engage in intimate sexual union with one’s partner while imagining or visualizing other men or women.

Finally, let us pray to Allah to keep our hearts steadfast on what He has permitted for us; may He make us all cherish and love faith and embellish our hearts with it, and may He make us hate disbelief, transgression and disobedience; and may the Beneficent Lord also save us all from all of the evil inclinations inherent in our carnal souls-aameen.


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